Part One :: Part Two :: Part Three :: Part Four I slipped into the front seat, my head spinning a million miles a minute. I turned on the ignition, then off again. Paused. Deep breath in. And promptly burst into tears.
Later I would tell my Johnny, that I hadn't meant to fall in love. "We don't need another cat," he would argue sensibly and I would agree. But I hadn't gone searching, I swear. I was only at the Mark's Ark to photograph their adoption profiles. I've photographed hundreds of rescued furkids. There have been plenty (too many) who were amazing and I've even thought "In another life, I would adopt you!" but I've never felt this way before.
I cried the whole drive home.
I cried because I knew he would say "no" and because I knew he was right. I cried because Pan and Ava were so happy and I knew I shouldn't upset their sweet little lives. I cried because our home isn't that big and we are hoping to move somewhere that will probably be smaller. I cried because we often babysit my parent's two dogs and cat and then the house really isn't big enough. I cried because I knew that there was no good reason to adopt a 14 year old cat except for the fact that she is mine and I am hers and sometimes there just isn't anything you can do about that.
He said no, of course. To be honest, he was pretty annoyed with me. I begged him and begged him with absolutely zero shame or dignity. I made grand promises and swore that if a trial didn't work out, I would do the sensible thing and bring her back. I didn't sleep at all that night. I'm not sure if I was excited or heartbroken or just plain crazy in love.
Well, he agreed to meet her. I was certain, absolutely 100% positive, that if I could just get him to meet her then he would understand. He would fall in love too and say yes and we would all live happily ever after.
I was wrong and he said no.
We drove away from The Mark's Ark and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I couldn't believe he didn't see what I saw, didn't feel her soul just swell up and envelop his whole heart. I couldn't believe he was saying no and I had the sickest feeling in my stomach.
"But you don't understand," I whispered, my voice shaking. "Please, I have to be with her."
He looked at me silently for the longest minute of my life. He sighed. And then, he said "Okay."